clothes...um everything.. wtf i have 24 hrs.
Customize your own flag, with things on it that represent you::
a big white flag. with three simple letters F M L.
If you could erase anything you ever said to anyone, what would it be?
I dont regret anything ive ever said to anyone.
Your stuck in a room for an hour with a chalk board, what do you draw on it:
Your theme song is called?
right now id like bella lullaby..
If your life was a movie, what category would it be in?
um def not a romance.. possible comedy, drama.. sure
Something you wish to accomplish before the end of the year:
How much does it take to make you laugh?
alot to me
How many sheep do you want on your farm?
I vote no on that one.
Which Wizard of Oz character are you most like?
uh the talking tree.. im stuck.
You learn through mistakes, what mistake are you glad you made?
Would you ever run naked in the rain with your love?
probably not. id slip and hurt something.
Do you think Giant anacondas really have a purpose on this earth?
does anything really have a point. think about it. sleep. wake up. eat. work. talk to the 5 normal people you talk to. shower. sleep. reproduce. sleep. repeat.
but plants THEY have a point.
Which is worse…15 pounds underweight or 15 pounds overweight?
Do you like eating icecream out of the carton?
IM not a fan
Do you find it gross to share drinks with family or friends?
family. idk why id rather trade spit with my friends but its how the cookie crumbles.
Is everyone equally important to the world?
I suppose so... I guess it depends.
Do some people truly not deserve to live?
Child molesters, rapists... etc
If the world comes to an end…how do you think it will go?
A republican is going to stick his brown nose where it doesnt belong and some radical i hate america person is going to blow us up. simple.
Will artificial intelligence help better or destroy the world?
most likely distroy.
How long does it take you to get out of bed in the morning?
depends on where im going. it can take 5 sec or 2 hrs.
How important is it for us to find other planets, resources and life?
I think it's pretty important to find life on other planets, so we can get off of out high horse thinking we are the only living things in this "never ending" universe. Resources would be important as well. for things like natural stuff. idk
What do you think we'll use other planets for in the future?
Do you think emptying our trash, pollution, and waste on the moon is okay?
hell no. maybe on your face.
What do you think about california?
I'LL BE BACK.
Is it important to you to always stay(live) close to family?
Why are slasher films entertaining?
Because you are most likely never going to see that in real life. unless youre one of the really unlucky ones..
Do you think it would be a good idea if we rebirthed dinosaurs?
yeaaaaa ... wtf no. "sorry dude cant.. a t rex just ripped my house in to pieces.. so um can i call you back" ...stupid.
What do you think about Tennessee?
I was born there.
What kind of animal do you think the world could live without?
If someone invented glasses that can see through things, would you buy it?
depends. on what im seeing though..
If you were a spider where would you crawl away and live?
Somewhere safe for me, like inside a tree or something.
What do you think about pop ups? Is there a way to get rid of them?
I never get pop ups.
Would you prefer to be emotionless, so you didn’t have to feel a heartbreak?
When you die, and if you become an angel, who will you watch over?
Whoever I love that I left behind.
If when you die, you become a ghost, would you try to contact your loved first?
haha yes. that would be amazingly hilarous!!
Would you want to haunt anyone? Who?
haha yes. everyone.
What does everyone live for (could it be love)?
i dont think its the same for every one person..
Are emotions what make people want to thrive and live?
Is there a way to solve world hunger, that we are ignoring?
uh. stop buying jeans that cost 800 dollars... for one.
What was the reason for our creation?
do not know.
What do you think should be added to planes?
Do you have a weak stomach for watching animals consume each other?
yes. i dont like it
Do you think its important to conserve the rainforrest?
Why do people move to Tornado country, when their homes will be destroyed?
so they can be with all the other republicans and breed and thrive on hatred and judgement. and some just think its pretty and relaxing.
Will technology move us forward in life or take us back to the beginning?
A bit of both
I know not what WWIII will be fought with, but WWIV wil be fought with sticks and stones. What do you think of this quote?
Do you have any quotes of your own that you admire?
If you could go back in time to the dinosaur era, would you take a visit?
I don't think so
Which Holiday pretend character do you wish really existed?
If leprechauns existed what would the world be like?
um i would crap.
Mistakes help you learn, but is there some you regret making?
Do you often make the same mistake twice? three times? constantly?
-Sweat pants from Victoria Secret
-A necklace made out of real stone that helps keep stress away
-Red eyeliner, Black eyeliner, nail polish and a twilight braclet from Hot Topic
-A shirt from Aero
-A tank from American Eagle
-A lotus flower inscent holder
-A ring with a real yellow flowers in it
-A long flowy dress(like you would see on Ashely Simpson/Angelina Jolie) from wet seal.
-Skull Hello Kitty lip balm
-Body spray and matching lotion and eyeliner from Victoria Secret.
It was fun, I don't know why I got it.. I never go anywhere but it's always fun to shop.
And right now its thundering like a bitch out side, the rain is pouring and it is wonderful. I think this is perfect cuddle weather.
im pretty sure that they would be completely confused... and i would be pissed if they read it without asking.. and uh i wouldnt explain it to them
I was totally there.. hiding behind the curtains.
1. Have you had a boyfriend/girlfriend?
2. Have you had your birthday?
3. Have you been to church?
4. Have you cried?
5. Have you had someone close to you pass away?
6. Have you pulled an all-nighter?
7. Have you drank Starbucks?
8. Have you gone shopping?
9. Have you gone to the movies?
10. Have you been to the beach?
11. Have you bought something for over $200?
12. Have you met someone new?
13. Have you been out of your home state?
14. Have you gone snowboarding?
ha in texas.
15. Have you slept in a friend's bed?
16. Have you snuck someone over?
17. Have you snuck out of your own house?
18. Have you been in a bar?
yes twice.. and one of those times i actually kinda ran one
19. Have you been to a concert?
20. Have you gotten a car?
i fucking wish
21. Have you gone over your cell phone bill?
22. Have you drove somewhere?
Yes, the three miles into town
23. Have you done something you regret?
24. What things have you bought lately?
25. Who was the last person you hugged?
uh my grandma i believe
26. Who was the last person to call you?
27. When was the last time you took a bubble bath?
a long long time ago they cause yeast infection
28. When was the last time you felt stupid?
thats a everyday thing
29. When was the last time you walked/ran over a mile?
30. Who was the last person who saw you cry?
My entire family
31. Who was the last person that made you cry?
32. Who was the last person you watched a movie with?
33. Who was the last person you danced with?
34. Who did you last yell at?
35. Who last told you they loved you?
36. Who makes you smile the most?
37. What are you listening to right now?
38. What did you do yesterday?
39. Have you ever been in a mosh pit?
40. Have you gotten hugs or kisses recently?
41. Have you made a new friend?
42. Have you fallen out of love?
43. Have you laughed until you cried?
44. Have you went behind your parent's back?
45. Have you met someone who changed your life?
46. Have you gotten close to someone?
47. Have you found out who your true friends were?
Nope, I've known that
Where the bride walks down the aisle at their wedding/commitment ceremony?
Love is that person, who when they walk in the door a smile pinches at eachside of your cheeks even if youre mad at them or not. No matter if they receive any type of decease, gain three hundred pounds. You still get that feeling that this person is going to love me no matter what. and youre not afraid of telling them anything because no matter what you do they will love you no matter what. and there isnt people willing to find that person because it is all about tits and ass. lol.. no wrong but so fucking true. tits and ass.
tits and ass
it doesnt matter if you can read, if you can hold a conversation. if you look like a fucking porn star you'll get the boys/girls.
Im sorry but I would rather have the hunch back of notre dame whom can make me laugh and who can make me think and keep me awake for hours because the conversation is so good I dont want it to end and approaches me in a shy way. then the calender boy who is a picture perfect christian but not really just everyone thinks so because he just so happens to attend church on sundays.. who bangs every vagina that swoons his way....
ahhh theres my out look.
I want a boy/man to make me smile. and to hold my hand.
to be like sara I heard this song, and I thought about you.
if he did those simple things they would have my heart on a freaking platter.
what do you think love is?
Seriously besides going to wal mart where half of texas where at..ridiculous.
So I get to sit at home and watch tv... shawns girlfriend emily is coming over and hes got her a billion flowers my parents got eachother crap...
I got nada.
so I'll just sit here and youtube robert pattinson.
happy freaking valentines day
the sound wont work.. and therefore itunes wont put songs on my ipod.. i mean they will but it wont play on my ipod. anyone know wtf is wrong with my computer???
I wanted to fill the sink up and drown in it. I want to do anything but see tomorrow, see the morning, hell see the next minute
of my life. the steam started to rise and i stuck my hands underneath, watching the water turn pink and go from one shade to a darker shade. I was arguing with myself. did that classify me as crazy. probably hell i just killed the one and only person who has ever cared for me. or who ever did care for me. I cuped a pool of water in my hands and splased it on my face.. looking up at myself i felt as if the seventh angel just blew the seventh trumpet. You disgust me. I remember my friend I met awhile ago always used to tell me everytime you walk past a mirror look yourself in the eyes and say "I love you" ridiculous. why. who. it doesnt last..
Preston brought me home that night after the dance. He parked his truck at the high school's AG department and we walked down a narrow road, that probably hasnt been paved since 1920 and the tree tops made a tunnel. walking side by side i tried to jeep my walking striaght."why do you keep bumping in to me"
he said stopping. "I have some weird disorder, when I walk next to someone i cant just walk straight im like drawn towards them so its like im walking half ass and diganal like, I dont know."
He laughed, and it sent jolts through my body, I was the best sound I had ever heard in my life.
Locking my arm with his.
"I cant just laugh."
"Well, I guess this us thing isnt going to work out then now is it?"
He shoved me away, tripping over a pot hole I fell down scrapping my hands.
" oh my god im so sorry"
"oh now youre laughing.. not only is it that I cant make you laugh but youre abusive wonderful. dont I get the good ones.
I just sat there, criss cross on some back road. with in second his face was right in front of mine.
"Can I kiss you?"
"No" I said smiling turning my head and crossing my arms.
His lips were gracing my neck
"Can I kiss you neck"
I didnt respond.
His hand pushed against my collar bones, pushing me towards the ground.
"Can I crawl on top of you like this"
swinging his leg on the other side of me.
"Ha oh really?"
he replied slyly.
"Im going to grab your face and im going to feel your face against my hands, and im going to kiss you, so when we leave tonight I'll have you on my breath. I'll have you on my hands. and what good is someone with no breathe... with no hands?"
Right then I think I died. In face I knew I died. I couldnt feel my lower half of the body and the honking car that sped passed us didnt even faze me.
I knew his breath was on mine. like a cocktail. like a drug. I couldnt stop wrapping my hands around him I felt the muscles in the shoulders and arms flex as he moved his face from my face to my neck and chest.
My heart stopped beating that night, for he stole my every pulse.
theres nothing from the lawyers yet and that is definitly driving me insane. and for some reason stacey isnt answering her phone either... I dont know if it is just because she is busy or if its because she just doesnt want to.
Joe called today.. surprisingly. (i fucking cant spell worth shit) Cortney on the other hand went completely crazy and went on this huge drug binge. i mean you know its her life. do what you want with it but really dont ask me if its stupid im not going to cheer on shooting up?!?
its so freaking cold outside..its cold in my house. its like 29 outside. its texas come on wtf is going on.
okay november new moon. holy fucking shit batman. exciting.
I know im all over the place but you know i know joe isnt the one and all but why the fuck can i just stop talking to him. maybe i likke pain maybe i like just sitting on the fire instead of just walking over it. all he talks about is him that is all. and when i get one sentence in its like yeah anways back to joe. ha i know im stupid. i think im going to shut up now.
but one question or a few that maybe some of yall can answer and i dont want yall to tell me the answer that you think want to hear i want the truth. brutal honest truth.
SO Joe today was normal.. but then i went to Sally's and she wanted to prank call him so i was like ok fine. he was a total pervert on the phone. and he has this obsession with mexican and black girls not that i have a problem but im white so it makes me insecure. and he acts totally different around me.. nice.. sweet. you know the normal. i dont know if this was just a modd swing he was going through since he is a skitzo.. literally.. or if this is the true joe.
and .. i have a friend named jennifer and i talked to her for the first time in a while ever since i was admitting into BHC for my depression and anxiety and now she wants to hang out but i dont know my chest says no but my head says wtf can it hurt.
I know none of yal can tell me waht to do but i just want yalls god honest opinons here.
anyways. I dont want it to be thanksgiving.
DudeYourBrosHott [12:59 A.M.]: dont care for ryan?
DontTellScotty72 [12:59 A.M.]: no i love him
DontTellScotty72 [12:59 A.M.]: but.. i dont care about telling him
DudeYourBrosHott [12:59 A.M.]: i think you should
DontTellScotty72 [12:59 A.M.]: no hes not ready
DudeYourBrosHott [12:59 A.M.]: its bad for you to keep all those feelings hidden for so long
DudeYourBrosHott [12:59 A.M.]: sara...from what i've observed its gonna have to be you thats gonna need to grow the balls to start this ball rolling
DudeYourBrosHott [1:00 A.M.]: ryan is obviously very scared of starting any type of relationship since he's never been in one
DudeYourBrosHott [1:00 A.M.]: but very obviously has feelings for you
DudeYourBrosHott [1:01 A.M.]: i just hate seeing you worry about trivial things
DudeYourBrosHott [1:01 A.M.]: like what if he gets a girlfriend in the future
DudeYourBrosHott [1:01 A.M.]: i think you should tell him so you'll at least know where you two stand
DontTellScotty72 [1:01 A.M.]: i dont know
DontTellScotty72 [1:01 A.M.]: hes not going to be like omg sara im in love with you too
DudeYourBrosHott [1:01 A.M.]: i know he's not
DudeYourBrosHott [1:01 A.M.]: and you don't have to come out and tell him that you're in love with him
DontTellScotty72 [1:02 A.M.]: i dont know
DontTellScotty72 [1:02 A.M.]: im not even ready to tell him
DudeYourBrosHott [1:02 A.M.]: tell him something like...you're going to make a great boyfriend someday
DontTellScotty72 [1:02 A.M.]: lol
DudeYourBrosHott [1:02 A.M.]: ha
DudeYourBrosHott [1:02 A.M.]: something
DudeYourBrosHott [1:02 A.M.]: anything
DontTellScotty72 [1:02 A.M.]: he asked me why didnt i tell joe
DudeYourBrosHott [1:02 A.M.]: how long have you been doing this to yourself?
DontTellScotty72 [1:02 A.M.]: and i was like bc that would be weird if i just brought it up
DontTellScotty72 [1:03 A.M.]: and he was like why bc he would think we are fucking
DontTellScotty72 [1:03 A.M.]: i was like exactly
DontTellScotty72 [1:03 A.M.]: and he was quite
DudeYourBrosHott [1:03 A.M.]: sara
DudeYourBrosHott [1:03 A.M.]: you should tell him
DudeYourBrosHott [1:03 A.M.]: and soon
DudeYourBrosHott [1:03 A.M.]: you're not being fair to yourself
DontTellScotty72 [1:03 A.M.]: i'll think about it
DudeYourBrosHott [1:03 A.M.]: it seems like you feel you don't deserve to be with someone you really care about
DudeYourBrosHott [1:03 A.M.]: and you do
DontTellScotty72 [1:03 A.M.]: thanks...
DontTellScotty72 [1:03 A.M.]: lol
DudeYourBrosHott [1:03 A.M.]: lol i'm so serious
DontTellScotty72 [1:04 A.M.]: but really ryan he realy dearves better
DudeYourBrosHott [1:04 A.M.]: dont say that
DudeYourBrosHott [1:04 A.M.]: he's so into you
DudeYourBrosHott [1:04 A.M.]: you are both great for each other
DudeYourBrosHott [1:04 A.M.]: and honestly what is the worst that could happen?
DudeYourBrosHott [1:04 A.M.]: he gets freaked out and gets quiet for a little bit
DontTellScotty72 [1:04 A.M.]: it becomes weird and we stop talking
DudeYourBrosHott [1:04 A.M.]: he already knew that you had a crush on him in high school
DudeYourBrosHott [1:05 A.M.]: it didn't bother him apparently
Last night I went with my brother Shawn and his friend Clint to Clints sister Rachels house and there was a keg. and Nena Rachel and I all made some jello shots.
Ive never really talked to rachel but shes pretty fucking rad. She told me that after she freaking graduated high school she slept with the principle!!!! holy fucking shit. I was totally not expecting that. and now i know why there was a big deal about him having to quit and then going to teach at the jr high. which i dont know if that was smarter or whatever i dunno. dont know the man personally.
Jacquelin was there and we made plans so she can set me up some appointments to tattoo me. for free.. im fucking pumped i told her that i would give her some cash though because it costs for the needle and ink and shit but whatever.
anyways i ended up having like ten beers and about the same with the jelly shots. shawn took me home after apparently some dude was trying to sleep with me.
kinda weird ive never been that drunk before. never again. cliche but never again.
and now i still feel like crap and woke up still drunk.
and while I was taking a shower after they had left the lights sartde to flicker like a strobe light. Im pretty sure I shit my heart right out. I just stood in the shower with no lights and then of course the hot water disapeared so I, scared shitless fumbled around the bathroom for a towel. and then to the kitchen (thank god im a smoker I knew exactly where my lighter was) and grabbed my lighter and searhing for a candle. the whole entire time i heard people running around my house. knocking on my door. and my dogs didnt make one sound.
I instantly thought of the strangers.. you know with liv tyler.
holy fucking shit batman.
I just sat. in my living room with my one little teacup candle shitting myself the entire time until like an hour later the lights came back on after what sounded like a airhorn going off.
and now. in an hour I get to take my dad to work AGAIN. and the annoying thing about that is the whole way there he is going to constantly bitch about either im driving too slow or too fast. im too close to someones tail. i didnt stop long enough at the stop sign.
or hes bitching about how i need to get a life.
or move on from ryan.
or he will just plain at bitch about something i dont even know about.
while telling me that my taste in music is horrible.
I can wake up in the middle of the day.
Take a shower without anyone coming in there to use the restroom.
Watch Scrubs non-stop without any bitching.
Be online with out any bitching.
No bitching period.
I wanted to go to TVCC today but I think im just going to go another day... I havent been asleep yet. I dont think it would be the smartest thing to do is go sign up for classes half ass asleep.
In like thirty minutes I have to take my dad to work.
I fucking hate doing this.
Driving all the way to Tyler at four in the morning...
(its like 60 miles back and fourth)
I guess on the way home I can stop at CVS and get some freaking Tyneol PM or something and wait for my sleep medication to be refilled in like a week or two.
I got my tickets all figured out and shit. $665
For a fucking speping ticket and a failure to make a complete stop.
one min i want it this way the other min i want it the other way.
I went to Dallas with CLay today walked around downtown. went into this porn shop were this fucking dildo was the size of my damn thigh. who the fuck uses that?!?!?!
Brittnis happily married.
JAnnas a cunt from hell with her lovely child.
Cortney is content.
SAlly is about to get married
stephanie is a little house wife.
ryan is just ryan and content with himself
stacey is slightly normal...no life alterting events lately. besides her AA.
And clay is just a big queen.
and then theres me. wtf am i?
im a mind fuck.
the friend who drinks to much acts like a boy and who has a little too many tattoos whom everyone is trying to talk me into getting them removed.
Well.. to top off lasts nights walmart experience i went to wal mart today again with my mom so she can pick up some groceries...and there was Mark another ex. wtf is going on?
But he hugged me asked me how I was doing and wanted to hang out. Which would be a huge fat negative being hes a man whore and everything.
Im dying my hair tonight. just one step closer to becoming bald. SCORE!
I want to put highlights in it but I think that would be a terrible idea. I cant get myself out of this little depressed mode i seem to be stuck in usually it last about a day or to and then it goes away but ever since i was hospitalized it really hasnt been there and now its like a fucking slap in the face. "would you like a side order of anxiety also?"
Thursday my parents should be going to Dallas so im pretty fucking excited I get the house to myself.
still havent called tvcc about college.
still havent called the judge about my warrant for my unpaid traffic violation.
STILL havent stoped eating the most unhealthy creations in this world.
im doomed to die a horrible death of a heart attack or spontaneous combustion
i was at walmart pickingup the twilight soundtrack and Brandon was there. I freaked like a teeney booper and I turned around leaving my cart in the middle of the aisle and I basically ran away. Left wal mart and picked up the cd at best buy instead.
You know after everything he has done to me youd think that I would hate him but no.
Im getting pretty tired of hearing people still bitching about Obama.
I mean I expected it since I live in Texas and all. but jesus.
I still think Hillary should have gotten it though.
I attempted to talk to Ryan but he kept changing the subject. All I wanted to tell him was that Im tired of being ignored. but he made himself cute acting and I couldnt do it. I need a set of balls.
Called Josh today. He answered. pretty exciting. MAybe maybe it will go over ok.
I finally got to talk to ryn today. he is still acting weird. i dont know whats going on there. I dont knowif he just has nothing to say or what. Or maybe hes talking to a girl or maybe he sees my facebook drama.
I totally ran into josh in wal mart today god hes adorable. i would totally date him and be happy.
thought about brandon alot today.
SO i guess prop 8 got passed in california. that fucking sucks. seriously is it that big of a deal to people. i hate to break this to them but even if they marry or not its not going to stop it so why try. you just seem like assholes in the end anyways.
also god said "Judge not"
Ive been put through so much. its absolutely ridiculous.
I dont know what I want to be
I barely even know who i am anymore.
Ive lost sight of everything.
half of me wants to remove my tattoos and become that all american girl. the other have screams what the fuck are you thinking. thats not you.
i dont know what would make me happier.
the normal life. the sweet life where my kids are happy to see me.
or am i meant to be the wild one who settles down at thrity five.
So much has changed. I have my own place now. I room with Bionnie.
I work at the airport and TJC and im about to be working with Brandon Jackson at the mall helping him with the Easter set up for a while.
IM donig ok in school i guess I need to quit skipping classes though. I hae test all next week
I just got a kitten his name is Sox!! and hes black with a little white spot on his chest.
such a cuttie!!!
Ive been really busy with the whole hillary clinton thing too. Bill Clinton came to TJC an spoke. I was so excited!!!!! there was tupid huckabee fans on the side of the road today waving around their stupid banners... but right across the street there where hillary fans too!!!!!!!!!
well basially have nohing else to say soo